Gorgeous

Alright January  you've been a little rough.  I'll admit, even though my resolution is to just be, I still want to plan my days ahead of time and give myself a check list of to do's to accomplish so that at the end of the day when I sleep I feel like I deserve it.

Silly eh?

I add more to my plate because being a wife, a mom to five kids and all that this entails to my mind is the easy stuff.

I was a working mom at one point in my life.  I felt guilty when I was home because I knew my son needed much for his future and I was the only one who was going to provide it, and I felt guilty when I was at work in the few minutes break I had to remember who I was in between clients because I was not with my son.  People ask me if I miss working outside the home, and really, the honest answer is still no, that my busy life now is not comparable in the least, however it is fulfilling.  A little.

What I miss about being out in the work force is my individuality.  I wasn't this mom person. I didn't have people telling me what to do or telling me they hated the meal I prepared, or be put in the position to discipline when all I wanted to do is either fall on the floor in tears, or cackle until they came.
I miss being 'Me'.
The 'me' that was sought out, recommended, referred to.  The 'me' that was admired and nothing compares to being handed cash while someone says, "I've never felt this good about myself in my life."

Maybe that's why call girls do what they do. Ahem.

But I digress.

Fortunately the attitude I have is normal, and when I stop to think about it God is merciful to point out my selfishness in desiring this idol called individuality   Certainly I'm an individual, that will never change, unless in The Lords providence I end up losing my marbles and become three of myself (horrors!)  but even then, my heart and life belongs to Him and instead of wanting to be this 'me' who gets all the glory, my focus should be stepping back and saying:

"To God be The Glory.

Great Things He Hath Done."

And so, being 'Wife' and being 'Mom' is all I need to be because this is where I am in this Season of my life.

It is enough.